Funny jokes

A guy stops by to visit his friend. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, “My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go…

A man invents a machine that slaps anybody who lies. He tries it out on his family at dinner. He asks his son, "Why were you so late last night…

patient says. "Why?""Because," the doctor says."I'm trying to examine you."

A Wife was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me…

"Yes well you also tested positive for cannabis, LSD, and cocaine.""…It was an everything bagel."

It will soon be vaseline day,” said my son. “Don’t you mean Valentines day?” I replied. “I know what I mean, ” he answered, “by the way, I need to…