Funny jokes

"Did anything happen today?" The parrot said,"Yes, the milk man came over." The man asked,"What did he do with my wife?" The bird said,"I don’t know; I got hard and…

"Which one of you sidewindersstole my horse?!" he yelled withsurprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'mgonna have another beer, and if myhorse ain't back outside by the timeI finish, I'm…

Wife: "Who said that?"Maid: "Your husband."Wife: "Oh."Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"Maid: "No, the gardener did."Wife:…

A guy stops by to visit his friend. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, “My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go…

A man invents a machine that slaps anybody who lies. He tries it out on his family at dinner. He asks his son, "Why were you so late last night…

patient says. "Why?""Because," the doctor says."I'm trying to examine you."

A Wife was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me…